Am i in love, I have dated lots of girls?

i have met the girl of my dreams we don't sleep together its been 9 months i prayed for her for 2 yrs. she is my best friend, but i do lust after other women, is this a bad Habit, i only want to love her, she needs to be on a pedestal, as my cinderella i am scared of marriage i don't want to be a man, i want to love her as god loved the church will i always lust since i have slept with so many girls, i want god to change my eyes, should i be scared. I won't be satisfied i have DHD and my mind plays games with me about this, am i really in love, i sacrifice my time for her i cook and sing and won't her to be happier than me, am i in love or just trying to get pants off, i go to church, i get convicted, why does my mind play games with me. i tell my self i love her, then why do i look at the girls in church and wonder what is she like hmmmm. am i normal my ladie is beautiful. go to facebook this is us Bear Denton thanks for your help